"It's not about the...

It's about connections!"

I was looking at my very last post, around 18 months ago. It was one of the last few times I hung out with my best friend, and it was so long ago. After I left Brown, I learned how the abundant human connections that exist in college are more fleeting in the "real world". At college, I could walk into a stranger's open room and talk about the deepest philosophical issues just after I said "hi, I'm Jahi".

After I graduated, my Master's year made me feel like a ghost in the place where my old life was. The environment was the same, the old people were all gone. Then Georgia... six months after I got there I started to meet new people, a year after that I was gone, some people to not see again for a long time.

Now back to New England. The environment is familiar but the old faces are still gone. The best friend who I last blogged about won't be the same short drive away in a matter of months.

And the 5-year reunion is coming up. What will that be? A reconnection or a reminder of lost connections? The thing about college's fleeting, abundant connections is that it can't really be maintained in the real world... a few conversations in with some people can reveal what would become the "sticking points" if you stayed connected for longer: this one's a homophobe, that one's a little crazy, whatever it is, the instant human connectivity in college is where it is, and the post-college world is another story. Well, Brown will bring some of us back, and we'll see what happens.

And today, Happy Hour.

A very observant coworker realized that we needed to connect with each other outside the increasing stress of work. So we're 5 weeks into a recurring Thursday Happy Hour. It's nice, it does make us all feel a little better. 11 pm and I'm just getting back, can't be all that bad.

And a friend who left work before she could say goodbye to everyone got to see the people she couldn't because of Happy Hour. I wouldn't have said friend before the last week or so, but here's the thing: while college may make people feel more personally connected than they really are, a "job" environment does the opposite. Mostly, that sucks. But in this case, it's nice to find someone who you can call a friend you didn't know you had.

And I have a connection that I made for life. It's been a little while since I gave her the ring to tell her what we already knew. And soon, we can tell everyone else what they already know when we get married. But let me say out loud, Medical Internship is a reaaaaaaal bitch. I miss her, even when she's around, because she's so neck-deep in what she's doing. At the same time that I wish she didn't have to go through what she did, I wish I could be that dedicated to my work... or that I could be going through what she is with her.

Sooner or later, she'll have more time. I'll see her more than I do now, and we can spend more time with each other. I hope that when I make connections with people in the future, I'll remember what it feels like to lack connection.

I felt very sober a few minutes ago...

I began the night with a quiet dinner with my parents in a western style roadhouse/bar/restaurant in Paterson, with food that was heavy but good. The only odd part was the Bulgarian singing that erupted halfway through our meal, as part of the private party that encompassed the whole place before we even got through our appetizers. The younger kids ran, the teens and young adults danced, and the uncles drank from bottles held by champaigne buckets and communed on whatever common events were worth speaking of. Very similar to any ethnic family event, except those uncles were drinking bottles of Johnny Walker Black Whiskey out of those champaigne buckets, instead of champaigne. And they were throwing down.

After that, it was on my way to NYC for a night out.

If any of you have been out drinking (oh! scandal!!), you know that a serious event during a night of drinking can call you out of your stupor and into action... it's commonly termed as a "sobering event."

Well a sobering event has come and gone for me, and interestingly enough, the sober feeling went away just as soon as things calmed down. It wasn't really that big a deal: we were riding the subway home in NYC after a night of drinking and my friend started to demonstrate that he wasn't feeling so good due to the amount of liquor he had... all over his seat and all over just about everything in a 5 foot radius.

Me, sitting four feet away, decided to stand and get a little distance from him to keep my jeans from getting in worse shape. We got off the train to give him a chance to get away from the motion sickness that caused the train-wide disturbance. I was quickly handed his keys and sent to the next train, and asked to wait at the apartment. Now this wouldn't be that big a deal if I lived in NYC, or if I hadn't left my cel phone home in Jersey. But hey, I'm a worrier, so I went to his apartment with the keys in hand, no way to contact him, and with just time to keep me company. A few minutes after I came in safe and sound, he did too, although not feeling good at all. My buddy is fast asleep now, and hopefully his hangover won't be too painful. I wish the same for me too, though I think it's less likely I'll have a headache in the morning than him. That being said, I won't be sober for a few hours, I'm sure.

So, to conclude:

Sobering events don't necessarily sober you up.

Beer before liquor, never been sicker.

And lastly, stand clear of a guy who's feeling a little queasy on the train after a few chocolate margaritas.

My best friend: here's to a night we'll be able to laugh about in a matter of hours.

The new DSL is up

So that I can blog more often, starting...

any minute now...

hold your breath while I keep surfing NewEgg, Pricewatch, CompUSA and Froogle for my new desktop

P.S., I lost my freakin blog index!! Did you know that if it's blank you can't see the blog at all? WTF??!!?

P.P.S., I thought I lost the index because I tried to publish without word verification, but that doesn't seem to be it...

Tang Fu

My wrestling years in high school had me in great shape, but I was in the best shape when I was wrestling team captain and training for my Black Belt at the same time. Now, two years without going to a single martial arts class, two years of a desk job, and two years of southern fried living have gotten me in real soggy shape.

Today was my first Tang Soo Do class since I left Providence. I am hurtin' and it's only been about 3 hours. Tomorrow is gonna absolutely suck... and the next day won't be any better.

I was in the pizza shop after class wearing my work shirt and shoes with my martial arts pants. I thought I looked dumb, but my girlfriend said I looked pimp.

Pooty-Tang Soo Do? Somebody make that on photoshop for me, I'm too lazy.

One more on Martial Arts: if you haven't seen "The One," just skip to a few parts: Evil Jet Li beating up cops with motorcycles; Jason "Transporter" Statham explaining the more academic parts of The Multiverse; Delory Lindo's dope acting (black actor = death scene halfway through) and Jet Li vs. Jet Li. That last fight is frickin poetry. Jet Li is the most talented practitioner that I have seen of a Chinese martial art... who is alive today, that is. He moves like a steel noodle.

Bedtime ... 5 days to Puerto Rico, cannot wait!

Weird, Weirder, Weirdest

From www.fark.com today:

"Grandmothers decide that they will end the fashion of hoodie swearshirts and baseball caps by wearing it themselves, making it uncool by default"

The opposite of cool: Grandmother of six Mari Savage and other senior friends in Margate, England, began a campaign this summer to wear hooded sweatshirts and baseball caps, in order to discourage teenagers from dressing that way, which Savage believes encourages gang behavior. Said Savage, to the Daily Telegraph, ''Once older people like us get hold of [these garments], they lose all their street cred.'' - Compiled by Chuck Shepherd

So whats the weirdest part of this story:

A: She is actually trying to make hoodies & baseball caps uncool by wearing them herself.

B: She believes wearing hooded sweatshirts encourages gang behavior.

C: She uses the phrase "street cred".

I think "A" is the strangest but "B" actually pisses me off a bit. I'm tired of upper genrations confusing effects and causes when it comes to youth. I used to wear Discus hoodies in the mid-90's, and I'm not beyond throwing a hoodie on these days. I once had a mean old uncle, who's no longer in the family, who told me I looked like a common Paterson hoodlum while I was wearing one. Never mind my Honor Roll status since 1st grade, never mind not judging a book by its cover. To this, I replied, "well, a hoodlum is a universal thing, there's really nothing specific about a Paterson one. Why would I look like a Paterson hoodlum?" In context, I was sending two messages:

1: What the hell is wrong with Paterson, just because you moved your family out, the town ain't worth a damn?

2: You're being assinine.

That shut him up. My parents like that one, and so did my grandma. They let us dress however we wanted as long as we didn't show off our boxers, stay out late or mess up in school. I have a level of respect for all older folks, but the ones I respect the most are the ones that see beyond their fear of what's different when it comes to those who grow up after them.

Those grannies should be careful of what fashion trends they fight: hoodies are mad comfortable, and there's nothing like a baseball cap for a bad hair(-piece?) day!

PR Post

Providence...

Is once again graced by my greatness. My corporate whoredom continues for my company, this time in the Rhode Island division. I'm currently living in temp housing provided by said corporate pimps, and loving it very much. It's downtown and the Providence Place Mall is practically in my backyard... until the end of September. The apartment hunt begins.

Pri & Me...

are long distance no more. When I first got here, it took some adjusting, but things are as close to everyday bliss as can be in the real world. I'll leave the blissful musings for the unfortunate close friends of mine who have to listen to my sappy ass.

Public Relations debacle...

for The Red Cross, Kanye West and the Katrina situation. If you don't know about this, google will inform you... just search any combination of "Kanye West Bush Katrina Red Cross" etc.

... pause while you do the knowledge on your google page...

I have a good deal of sympathy for Kanye's position, but as usual, a bold, raw, public statement has brought a crashing wave of idiotic commentary from all directions.

I can't pretend to put together a balanced, intelligent commentary on the situation, but it brings to mind a few things.

I had the chance to go to the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center with Reef before leaving the ATL, and it was a different experience than my previous visits, because he is very keen on depth over breadth. We actually skipped a building so that we could do more justice to the rest of the center, which I appreciated in the end. Something that stuck with me is the last cause proposed by Dr. King before his death, that of helping the poor of all ethnicities. Racial violence can sometimes be opposed by legal means, and there are many occasions where the law helps. When you are trying to convince people to question their prejudices, you can appeal to their better nature, their humanity... but you are dealing with improving the financial situation of people, you have to ask folks to give up some of their financial superiority, which is something they are not often ready to do.

"George Bush does not care about Black people"... yes, there is lots of truth to that, but this is not just affecting Black people. Katrina may have been a real bitch, but she wasn't racist. People who have need to help those who don't -- Bush to Blacks, Rich to Poor... and not just with money.

I talk too much.

PUERTO RICOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

SAN JUAN, BITCHES! WE GOIN!!! This will be my first Caribbean vacation, first trip to the island where my mother was born. I'm open to advice about where to go, what to do. I'll have to tell ya'll some more later, I'm going to Borders to look up some books on the island, so I know what to see.

Emotionally Spent

It's been almost two years since I left my comfort zone, AKA the Northeast, for the betterment of my career. When I arrived, I was excited about my job, looking forward to my first solo apartment, eager to make a good impression on everybody. I knew from the start it would not be easy-- no friends, a total newbie to this and any full-time biomedical engineering job, and worst of all, huge amounts of distance between me and those I love... and the one I love. Still, I was, and am, full of perseverance and drive.

But now that I'm so close to the end of this stay in Atlanta, I feel like a car that's falling apart as it crosses the finish line. No, nothing specific in my life is falling apart, but I am feeling mentally run down, less capable, not functioning to my full potential. I'm accomplishing little to nothing at work and at home right now. I try to stop my mind from being 100% occupied by my return to Rhode Island. Less than 72 hours left, and less than two days of work.

Maybe you know this from your own life, but distance in relationships is not easy. Also, its effect is not simple. Some may think that it's a big weight that you carry, and if it doesn't break both of you, it will make you stronger. It's more sinister than that: distance will clue you in to the little things that you need to do better. The way it wears on you will change every day. Physical distance can show you when you make emotional distance happen. I've got a very strong person who has been weathering it with me, and I think it has made us both stronger. Now, as that distance goes away, I want the chance to show her how strong I can be for her when I'm there with her.

These last few days have been interesting in terms of my interactions with people. When I left friends in Prov, it was a "c'ya later" for the most part, even to those who I might never see again. Saying goodbye hits me totally different right now. I've just potentially said my final farewells (in person at least) to many people who I've known since I came here; they are people who have helped me hold it together and enjoy my time, and they stopped me from dwelling on the things I could have dwelled on constantly. Some of the interactions were small, some weren't, but I will miss them all.

Going back will not be like taking the same space I had when I left. That space has changed, and so have I. I'm not feeling as confident as I remember, but hopefully that will change soon. I know more than I did. I want to stay in touch with as much of what I've learned and as many of who I've met as I can. I know this is the best thing for me. I can barely wait.